June 13, 2023

 You never know what twist or turn life will bring and this has been a difficult week for Justin and JayLynn. Her Crohn’s disease has certainly been a problem since having Treyson. She ended up in ICU last week after losing consciousness due a seizure. They determined that the seizures were a result of medication induced blood leakage in her brain. Her BP was really high too and then fluid started to build up in her lungs. On Saturday morning after trying to cough up mucous she heart stopped and she coded. They brought her back and Tammie made the decision to fly to Utah. JayLynn’s family has been with them all along. We have been praying and we fasted as a family on Sunday. She started improving on Sunday and has been fighting hard to come back. She is a nurse so is asking lots of questions. She and Treyson have been able to have some time together and I am certain that Justin has appreciated having his own mother with him. It is, however, Zach’s wedding next week which is adding some concern as Justin is his best man and would want to be with his brother in New Jersey on his wedding day. We are not certain how all of that will work out but JayLynn will certainly not be going and hopefully will be in a stable condition by next week. Justin’s work has given him a paid week off. Miracles are always involved - they had just moved to the bigger community of St. George, Utah with hospitals available; her brother Joel had come to be with her while Justin was at work because she had, had a really bad headache and he was with her when the first seizure hit; her cognitive capacity seems to be intact and so on. We are grateful for all those things and praying for this little family. Jack sent his love to them from Africa in his weekly audio message. Grateful for family.

I am in the process of shutting down one of our numbered companies. Tom and I have had our accountant Phil working on this for a few years and it is finally happening. I had to have Wayne find me lawyer in Alberta as it is an Alberta company. I have had to have papers notarized and yesterday I went into the bank to follow Phil’s directions for removing most of the money from the account to my account as dividends and shareholder loans. It will be good to have this settled and have one less thing to worry about. Simplifying is what I am endeavouring to do. 

Ryan, my landscaper, gave me and the Chabots a quote for having turf put down in our front yards. I am ready to go ahead with the project and I hope they are okay with it too. Ryan has agreed to replace my back turf  for free so I am willing to do this final project and then be grass free and landscape complete.

I gave my talk in church on Sunday and did a part in the Relief Society lesson. I have to speak in the YSA sacrament meeting in July after I get back from Zach’s wedding. Seems I give a talk once a month.

Bryson arrived home from his humanitarian FSY in Ghana and was able to drop by to see me for a short time while he waited for his ride to pick him up. He brought me an African fan. 

I am grateful that the spirit and angels can bless our lives because I feel and need both and know that Tom is near and can be near the children in their needs. It brings me comfort and I hope it brings comfort to them.

June 7, 2023

 This has been a week of remembering, tears, gratitude and peace. It was a year ago yesterday that Tom passed and I am feeling overwhelmed again by the kindness and love shown towards me by so many. Cindy took the day off work to be with me and we went to the cemetery where we cleaned the grave digging weeds and adding soil and seed to the top. I had bought a new arrangement to place there until we can get the headstone layed next month. We then went for brunch in Fort Langley and came home. When we opened the front door there were flowers and treats from various people. I cannot believe that people remembered what day it was for me. I was so touched. DeEtte messaged and performed a random act of kindness in honor of Tom, Heather phoned, Joanne and Dave messaged, and Max and Ross sent sweet messages. Kelly Groom called on behalf of the Sechelt branch. Cindy and I then packed the dog up and went to West Vancouver to visit Mom and Dad’s graves and place some plants there. The memories of this past year and the two previous years have been poignant and though having Tom leave me was the thing I dreaded most and the thing that has hurt on a level I have never experienced before, I think I have become stronger physically, mentally and spiritually because of it and because I have had too. I miss him on all those levels too but I have faith that the Lord will make all things right and wipe away all tears. I am so blessed by wonderful family members and friends - Jesus being one of them. I truly have been lifted and carried. I watched Tom’s memorial again when it popped up on my device and I cried.

I have been working on a talk to give this Sunday and Mary has asked me to do a part in her Relief Society lesson as well. I am missing the Temple being open but I am trying to get things done that need to be done. I have been looking for hula hoops for Moroni’s Quest,  baking muffins and trying to give them away. I took store bought cookies to Ezra Peralto as he loved the Girl Guide cookies he had at my house. Jean and Cheyenne came over to spend one evening. Cheyenne has broken up with her boyfriend and she is confused. I hope that I am saying the right things.

The weather has been lovely and they yard looks beautiful but it keeps me busy with watering when it gets hot. Oh well, that is the cost we pay to have things looking good. I am waiting for Ryan’s quote for the front yard being turfed but I know he is really busy right now. My neighbors want to go in on it too so I don’t want them to become anxious about the delay. I have ordered a little bench for the back deck.

We mourn deeply when we love deeply. I am willing to go thru the mourning to have the privilege of loving Tom Walker and being loved by Tom Walker. I have made it thru one year. One year closer to Jesus and Tom Walker. 

Cindy got me peonies like those Tom brought me from our yard in Edmonton when she was born. Melanie Leonard heard the story and brought me and Cindy more peonies.❤️❤️

June 1, 2023

 The Temple has closed and I believe I am feeling the loss even though I have much I want to get done during the break. I am feeling lonely on my own without the Temple and my associations there and just missing Tom as the anniversary of his passing approaches but I miss him all the time. I do not want to ever wallow in self pity because I am so blessed and so blessed to have him forever and I am trying to be brave, capable and strong and worthy to be with him. Enough of that - onward.

I took Kona back to the vet and her follow up test indicated that she is parasite free which I was pretty certain of.

I drove Bela to the hospital in Maple Ridge for her to have an appointment with the doctor regarding her broken collar bone Friday morning. She broke it when she fell in Hawaii while running to catch a bus. She  is healing well and was told that she could now drive again but to be careful. 

Liza, Breya and Sayde drove down Friday evening and stayed the night before driving to Seattle to attend Les Mis on Saturday evening. They drove home from there on Sunday after going to church in Seattle. 

I also had three female billets from Washington State stay Friday evening and Saturday evening while attending the Mid Single Adult Conference being held here. It was a full house Friday evening. I had been working on my talk for the Mid Single conference and spoke at their  Sacrament meeting held at the YSA building on Sunday. Elder Wolsey spoke as well along with another young mother from Coquitlam ward. My talk was Arise and Touch the Face of God. I have now been asked to speak in our Sacrament meeting on June 11 and I am working on that talk The Light Will Come on personal revelation. 

I attended James and Bela’s sealing on Saturday before I worked my final Temple shift. Tom and I had attended Roger and Bela’s sealing years ago in Cardston and I was certain Roger and Tom were with us for this one as well and that Roger was okay. Leonard was a toddler at the first sealing, he was a witness at this sealing. Shauna and Rick Humphreys are retiring from their Temple service as Saturday afternoon coordinators and I will truly miss them. They have served faithfully and are dear friends.

I have been doing quite a bit of baking lately and giving most away. I have also been trying to help Cheyenne with boy problems. I really want her involved with the church kids and institute for the summer. She has broken up with her boyfriend from school. 

Ryan came to look at my burnt turf and says he will replace it but I don’t want him to do that until fall when I can be certain that no more burning will be occurring. He is going to give me an estimate on turfing the front yard and Ann and Dominic have asked to be included as well.

And so it goes. I am alone and sometimes lonely but always blessed and always grateful.

May 25, 2023

 I am grateful for our children, grandchildren and spouses. They bless my life and give me reason and reason and a reason is important for me. After the deacons pulled up the sod, I was left with more sod than I had ever anticipated. It needed redistribution in more bags which was beyond my capacity and strength, so on Monday evening, which had been the Victoria Day holiday, Cindy, Paul and Sam came to take care of that and also finish setting up my new deck furniture and break down the cardboard boxes the furniture had come in. They worked hard and I so appreciated it. I bought them A+W for supper before they went to have ice cream with Ross and Sarah. Paul and Sam put the debris filled bags out on the walk for pickup the next day but unfortunately the green pickup does not take sod and dirt and I had both, so when Paul and Sam came on Tuesday evening to have Trisha cut their hair after she cut mine, they pulled the bags back up to the house again. They hope to take them to the dump on Saturday. What a project this has become! Ryan, my landscaper, is coming to evaluate my burned turf and give me suggestions for the front.

I stained the back deck myself but parts of it are still tacky and refusing to dry. I have my back deck set up with the new furniture and it looks cute. I planted a few more plants in the back today and I am done back there. I have a neighbor, who does woodwork on his driveway. He is a kind fellow and offered to knock the wasp nests down from my eves and from Marie’s. I may ask him to make a little rustic bench to put where the BBQ  was on the back deck. It would provide a little extra seating and be a place where I could put plants and other things. We will see.

The dog is doing better but had to have a follow up appointment with the vet and have a follow up poop analysis. We took care of that today. I think she is fine and definitely lively but still having accidents in the house. Ugh! 

The Temple is really busy as we approach the 2 1/2 month closure. Saturday was extremely busy but I feel that all went well with our live ordinances. We will be busy right up until the doors close this Saturday. I will miss the Temple a great deal but I want to use the extra time I have to get some things done that I need too such as starting work on our project to improve the Fort Langley cemetery and placing of the headstone. I have Moroni’s Quest with the youth, Zach’s wedding, Jack and Jeannette coming to visit as they do their Alaska cruise and more.

Cindy just old me that Phil Harvey and Jesse Leavitt came today while I was out and removed my bags to the dump. How kind people are! I am so grateful!

May 18, 2023

 It is about a year since Cindy and I took Tom to the Abbotsford Hospital because he could not keep any food down. It proved to be a bowel blockage but the cancer was also on a rampage and he only lived two more weeks. It is difficult for me to think about all that happened during that time but it is also a very sacred and precious time to me too and I treasure all the love we felt for each other, from our children and others and from the Lord. The miracles came in abundance,  not the one we had wished and prayed for, but the ones the Lord had ready to pour down upon us.

Tom blessed me more than any other person in my life and I have had wonderful people in my life. I have the deacons coming tonight to help with yard work and staining my deck. I went to see if I had the appropriate strain and brushes and I have both because of Tom. I regularly turn around in need of something and find that Tom has already taken care of it. As I talk to and work with people, I realize that I have been blessed with a remarkable and loving husband who truly did and still does make me feel secure and loved. I am not sure why I have been so blessed but I am ever grateful for him and oh, how I miss him.

I had a lovely Mother’s Day. Cindy left a cute breakfast in the fridge for me while I was serving in the Temple on Saturday and then made a picnic for us on Mother’s Day. The children went together and got me a lovely set of pots and pans. I admired Lara Lyn’s new pans when I was in Whitefish and they got me some like hers. They are so good to me and I love them and our grandchildren. They are all remarkable.

The Temple is closing the end of the month for 2 1/2 months and so it has been very busy and very hot as we are having a heat wave and the air conditioning, which will be repaired during closure, is not working. We have been doing a lot of live ordinances and as Ted Streibel has been on a cruise, I have been handling the new male bookings too. 

I taught Amy and Hyrum the follow up Temple lesson and gave them my BBQ. They are a great couple and I really appreciate them. The awnings they put on my bedroom windows still seem to be helping in preventing further turf burn and that is a big deal for me.

Kona is feeling better and has completed her treatments for her bowel infection. I have washed her and all of her things and hopefully that is the end of it but we still have to do a follow up poop test next week.

My days and weeks are full and all of that is good.

May 10, 2023

 I had a sick dog over the weekend. She got up Saturday morning with a loose bowel problem but I did my Temple shift hoping I would not find major problems when I got home. She had, had an accident but on the kitchen floor, however things had spread a bit. I did clean up and Cindy arrived to help. The night was bad and the next night too with her pawing on her crate every two hours or less to get outside. Poor little pumpkin. She was just not herself. I got to church on Sunday though and I was determined to hold out until Monday so we wouldn’t need to go into the emergency vet. I do not like going to the emergency vet. We got to Monday and she was still having problems so I booked an appointment with her own vet Dr. Jin. We stopped on the way for me to get my 6th Covid vaccination and almost $400 dollars later we were back from the vet armed with antibiotics, probiotics, our flea and tick pills for three months and expensive poop test ordered. I should have not gone ahead with the poop test as she started improving quickly. Yesterday she had a grooming with Gabriela and she is looking and acting much better. Not sure if she ate something or got a bug. Perhaps the poop test results will give some insight.

Brother Streibel has still been recovering from covid so I did the LOW training at the Temple by myself with the help of the Rempels. I made carrot cake and took plates and napkins. I bought a vegetable platter from the Streibels and Rempels brought cheese and crackers. We had a good turnout and I hope it helped.

I have been working on m talk for the Mid Single Adult Conference the end it the month and it is almost done. I had difficulty determining the direction it was to take so I hope it is going to benefit someone.

Cheyenne is home from school has been over to visit. She wants to talk about boy concerns but I think that  topic will take all summer to discuss and I am not certain what the outcome will be. I want to help Jean and the girls stay strong in the gospel so I hope my advice and support are helpful. I would like her to go to the YSA but I think she is nervous about it. Both she and Charmaine have nonmember boyfriends.

I have ordered new deck furniture and am preparing my old furniture to be given away. I will need help putting it together. I worked on setting up the old furniture today to take a picture.

One of our investment companies with Eric Muir had a security breach and our names were on the list of those who had private information taken. I filled in the paper work to give increased protection to Tom’s identity but my letter from the company has not yet arrived. I am working with Phil to get our Alberta company dissolved and I am waiting to hear fromWayne’s son Jonathan to help us with the next step. So many things to worry about that Tom would have taken care of.

I am meeting with Fuji and Pauline Lee tonight at the Temple to do an LOW review with them before they help an Asian couple on Saturday. They were not able to come to the training meeting last week. I have to hurry home afterward for Stake YW meetings and will miss the first part of of the meeting with the Stake YM.

Onward I go, trying to do my best and hopefully it is helping someone.

The picture of the London Temple would have been taken across the hall from our apartment.

May 2, 2023

 It is Jadyn’s 21st birthday and I had a nice zoom conversation with her and another one with Zachary earlier. Bryson called me yesterday to visit and to ask if could teach him the Temple prep lessons. I love my children and I love my grandchildren and I am grateful for their kindness and love. 

It has been a busy week and by yesterday I was a little spent and tired. I often feel more emotional at those times too but my best recourse is to power thru and keep moving after having a cry. I carried on and got my regular cleaning and Monday chores done. 

I had gone to Hyrum’s endowment session last Tuesday evening and was glad to be there. He and Amy are a good couple. I went to the Stake Council meeting Wednesday evening because Cathy was not feeling well. I drove on my own as I could find no one to go with. Jean had me and the Sister missionaries for lunch on Friday and that was lovely. I served in the Temple Saturday and then drove Cindy out for the evening meeting and drove her and Paul home. We Stake YW leaders cleaned out our cupboard before the meeting. Paul gave me permission to zoom the Sunday conference meeting from home as I had been asked by Vancouver Stake President Bateman to participate in the Burnaby Ward second hour discussion at their ward conference and I needed to leave soon after the conclusion of the Abbotsford Stake conference. The Burnaby meeting focused on finding JOY in relationships. I was exhausted by the time I got home for family zoom. Amy and Hyrum completed my awnings on Saturday. They look cute and I believe they are stopping my windows from burning my artificial turf.

Brendon drove to Edmonton on the weekend to pick up Bryson and the furniture. Max wrote a big accounting exam. Sam went on a school river rafting expedition while he was sick with a cold and Wyatt’s team finally had a baseball victory. Every other child and adult in the family were busy too. Justin started a new job in St. George and they moved into her family’s condo. JayLynn will be getting more diagnostic tests done for her Crohn’s disease struggles. We pray for them. We pray for all of them.

We have our struggles our fatiguing moments but we are blessed.