January 4, 2023

 We are starting a New Year, leaving 2022 behind which was my last year with Tom. In some ways I am hating to let it go but in the grand scheme, Tom is moving on with me and with our family, just in a different realm. He will never be far away, this I know. There is only one reason he spent time away from us in this life and that was Jesus and there is only one reason he would ever leave us now and that is Jesus. There is only one reason I have would ever be willing to allow him to serve and be away from us then and now and that is Jesus. It is always Jesus and all about Jesus.

We returned back to Sydney on Thursday. Max drove us in the rental car as Jacqui was back at work. We had enjoyed our time in Canberra going on the beautiful drive to the beach, visiting the animal sanctuary up in their mountains and their beautiful museums. Canberra is the capital of Australia and is beautiful with their rolling hills and mountains nearby. It is their Washington DC but much quieter and Jacqui and her family were proud to share it with us. Christmas was different there as it was hot, lacking in our usual lights and decor and Northern Hemisphere traditions but we enjoyed our time. We had fun helping Max and Jacqui decorate their new little apartment with things from IKEA that I gave them as wedding gifts and Cindy gave them as Christmas gifts. It is just nice to know where they are and to be able to picture them there.

We stopped on our way to Sydney to see where Max works and finally dropped Cindy, Sam and Paul off at their hotel. They had an earlier flight out on Friday than me and were able to spend 11 hours in Fiji and meet me at the airport when I arrived later and we continued our return to Vancouver. Max and I dropped the rental car off and then stayed at a different hotel near the airport. He got me to the airport in the morning and then took a bus back to Canberra. We gained a day as we journeyed home and arrived Friday afternoon after leaving Friday morning. Ross picked us up and got us home. Thank goodness for grandchildren. Janice had Kona out when we arrived but when they finally got here, Kona was very happy to see me and didn’t want me to put her down until Janice left.

My jet lag wasn’t bad so on Saturday I picked up groceries and started making food for New Years dinner on Sunday. Sunday we attended church and I then had Ross, Sarah, Cindy, Sam and Paul for dinner. It was nice to zoom the rest of the family. On Monday I took Christmas down and cleaned the house and by Tuesday morning, when I attended the early Temple session, I was feeling tired and sleepy. Just being in the Temple brings peace and calm. Kona and I did errands in the afternoon and then Trish came to cut my hair. I took Jean and Cheyenne out for dinner last night. I slept in today and have been catching up on things this morning. Tesla has all my paperwork now and hopefully moving forward with putting the car in my name. It has been months in coming and stressful. 

Justin, JayLynn and Treyson are coming to stay the middle of the month for a few days. Justin just graduated with his Doctor of PT last month and does not start work until February. Joanne and Dave will be coming as well as they make their move to Lethbridge the middle of the month. I hate to have them go but they feel they should be near family.

The New Year is ahead and I pray for help to make it a good year for myself and those around. I start my calling as coordinator in the Temple of female living ordinances and carry on in my calling in the Stake YW presidency. Zach is to be married in June and Rissa wants me to come visit them. I am blessed in so many, many ways - my children, grandchildren, friends, family, Tom Walker and Jesus!

December 23, 2022

 I am very behind on my blog as December has been busy with activities, church, getting ready for Australia  and coming to and being in Australia.

We are now in Canberra where Max and Jacquie live. We left Vancouver on December 16th with Cindy and Paul’s friend and neighbor Michelle driving us to the airport. Kona went from Rosemarie Schiemann to Mary and Lincoln to Janice her babysitter. The transfers were made successfully, though I had worried. We flew from Vancouver to Fiji where we had a short layover. Fiji looked beautiful and green with rolling hills. From Nadi, Fiji it was a four hour flight to Sydney where we were greeted by Max and Jaquie. They had their car and we rented another larger car so we could accommodate the six of us (Max, Jacquie, Paul, Cindy, Max, Sam and myself) and our luggage. We drove to the Temple accommodations where we would stay for two nights. We entirely lost the day of Saturday when we crossed the international date line so it was Sunday when we arrived and we needed to get groceries and eat. We then walked around the Christmas displays and lights on the Temple grounds before needed sleep.

On Monday we drove to a dock like area by the river and took a little ferry boat into the downtown area of Sydney. They weather was a mix of rain, wind, hot and cool. I loved Sydney. We went to see the opera house, the Bay Area and downtown stores and shops. The city area is a combination of the Quay, English Bay, Seattle, Vancouver and New York. I really enjoyed it and even bought a lovely dress at a cute shop. At the end of the day we retraced our steps back to the cars.

Tuesday December 20 was Max and Jacquie’s first wedding anniversary and their scheduled sealing day at the Sydney Temple.Her mother Mary, friend Maddy, as well her friend Tamara and her new husband Marcel had joined us by now. We had a lovely time in the Temple and the sealer was sweet and did well. We were missing Tom but I knew he was there and could hear his voice repeating the ordinance with the sealer. Oh, how I love him. We took pictures and had lunch with everyone before heading out to Wollongong and our our next stopping point.

Cindy had rented a cute little place near the beach in Wollongong so the next day we we did a long beach walk near our accommodations and then on another beach walk near the harbour area after first visiting a large ocean blow hole. Dear Sam had to share a room with me and my snoring. That was our Wednesday.

On Thursday after cleaning our place a little, we finally drove to Canberra where Jacquie grew up and where she and Max now live and work. Jacquie has been driving Cindy and I in the rental and Max driving the men in their car. Jacquie took us to see their new apartment and then over to her family and their home. We visited with them during the afternoon, met her father and her sister Fiona and her husband and two little ones. Once Fiona and family were off, we went to a nearby buffet for dinner with her parents. Her parents are sweet people. Her father Brian is not a church member and her two sister are not active. Sam is staying with the kids at their apartment and Cindy booked us a small rental place not too far away.

It is now Friday and we will soon be off to Costco and IKEA as soon as the children are awake and come to get us.

Before leaving Vancouver we celebrated Christmas with Ross and Sarah on December 10th and 11th. I had served my Temple shift on Saturday and then went to the Hardy home, along with Kona, to celebrate Christmas Eve with a shepherds’ dinner. They all came to my house in the morning for Christmas breakfast and presents. I had made orange rolls and Cindy made soufflé. We then all attended church. We visited Camille and family at Ronald MacDonald House in the afternoon where they are staying while little Presley is receiving her cancer treatments. They are such a sweet family.

I spent the week before we left preparing for our trip, delivering gifts and making arrangements with Janice Campbell to care for Kona. It has been a stress for me determining how to care for her while I am away in Australia. I looked into several options but then Cindy helped me connect with Janice and that seemed to be a fit. She teaches at a special school for immigrants and has the two weeks off. We decided that she would stay at my house. I tried to secure all my valuables and papers. Since we left Vancouver has had a large snow fall and I think Kona and Janice are pretty well snowed in along with the whole area.

This is my first Christmas without Tom and though my heart is aching, I am at peace and I feel very blessed. All Tom has done for me over many years and all his love continues to bless me.

December 9

 I have been struggling to find care for Kona while we are away in Australia for two weeks. Cindy had some ideas that didn’t work out. My neighbour suggested an excellent kennel that was booked for the holidays. We checked on a dog boarding site and I chose two. I made a house call to check one out and knew before I even got inside that I could not leave her there. No more to be said about that one and I cancelled the appointment to meet with the other one when Rosemarie offered to take her for at least the first week. We are still looking for other options as I hate to impose on Rosemarie but it has been a bit daunting for me and I don’t want to be a problem for anyone. I get emotional and I don’t want that either. My emotions are just on the surface these days and I miss Tom so much. 

We had our Stake conference this past weekend and it was very good. I served my Temple shift on Saturday and then Sam stayed with Kona and Cindy drove me out to the leadership and evening sessions. Elder Pingree was the visiting GA. Tom and I had been with him once when he attended the Nanaimo Stake Conference and few years ago. He is very loving and kind and again touched some emotional chords with me. When the spirit is strong it is difficult.

We have a new YW secretary, Jessica Jahn. We were needing one and she will be a good addition. We meet each Wednesday evening, usually by zoom and once a month in person. Junki is our HC representative and is always there for us and very concerned for me. I enjoy going to the Temple every week, usually on Tuesday mornings and serving my shift Saturday afternoons. I will be coordinating the female live ordinances in the new year and I am looking forward to that, though it will add another challenge for me.

I have been preparing for Christmas getting the children’s Aloha clothes from Hawaii off in the mail, making spiced almonds and orange rolls and doing a few Christmas cards. Our family has gone together to buy Presley and Nova some Christmas gifts. We hope to go to Ronald MacDonald House this weekend to deliver them pending everyone being well so we do not cause little Presley any added concerns. Joanne and Dave came to the Temple this week and I met her outside to give her my card and Christmas gift and she gave me a gift for Presley sent by their neighbour. Ibbetsons have sold their home and are now getting ready for their move to Lethbridge. Joanne is emotional.

I continue to try to have my business affairs in order. Tesla contacted me this week and helped me fill out some lease transfer forms. I have sent in credit information and hopefully, hopefully all is now in order. I have most of my bills preauthorized for payments and that has taken some effort as well as I have had to change things to my name and information. Tom did so well taking care of us and I am trying to learn.

Tammie phoned to tell me she had a vivid dream of  Tom sitting in his upstairs chair, healthy, younger, happy and visiting with all of us. Brenna and Wade Baumgartener stopped me at the Temple to tell me Brenna had a dream about Tom and Wade had mentioned Tom in a church meeting as being an example of a Christlike individual. I saw him briefly one dream. Cory Wanner told me he felt him in the Temple and Deborah Acor told me she saw him in the Temple. I feel he is near and continuing to bless lives. Oh, how I love him and miss him.

We had a big snow but it is melting with warmer temperatures and rain. 

November 30, 2022

 I missed the previous week, so this blog post will cover the last two weeks.

 I have gotten all my outdoor and indoor Christmas decorations up during the last two weeks and I received the children’s Christmas gifts from Hawaii and mailed the USA gifts on to them. The Hardy family got my outdoor lights up and I did the little trees by the front door. I have made my first batch of spiced almonds but need more Costco nuts to make some more. The tree and I almost toppled over as I was moving it, but I made it and it looks beautiful, even Sayde complimented me.

Liza and Sayde made a quick trip down last weekend  in order for Liza to attend the Temple and both Liza and Sayde to attend a play on Saturday afternoon with the Hardy Family. Liza was not feeling well on Sunday but drove home over snow covered mountain roads. I gave her vitamin C, Tylenol and lemon, honey tea before they left and then I prayed.

We received ice pellets Sunday evening which melted enough to stick together and form a sheet of ice. Yesterday afternoon and thru the night we had a snowfall of about 7 inches. My neighbor Marie had put salt on my ice and tried to get it off my driveway. Cindy and Paul came to shovel and salt a little later and my neighbor Kirk did one more shovel in the evening. Jean and a friend shovelled the worst of the snowfall off my driveway and sidewalks early this morning. I am very blessed and people are so kind. I shovelled a patch for Kona on the back turf as she has been struggling to go to the bathroom in the deep snow that now comes up to her tummy and as a result of that, having accidents in the house.

Our dear little Deborah Acor came to visit me this week and we had a lovely visit and a good cry. She misses Tom too. Jane Komm came for lunch the last Wednesday while Ron served in the Temple and brought me lovely flowers. We have people coming and going and dear Kona tries to keep up. Jean has recovered from covid and is back to her activities and shovelling my driveway and walks.

My furnace started to sound funny the beginning of last week. David Bigler diagnosed it and I called the repair people. It completely broke down two days before the repair man came on Friday but it is up and running now, thank goodness, with the change in seasons and temperatures.

I drove Sam to work one day last week and Trish came to cut my hair. I continue with my YW calling and my Temple calling. I have been asked to replace Sandy Anvik as coordinator for the female LOWs in the new year when Sandy moves to Lethbridge to be near some of her children. I am excited to fill that responsibility but will be busy.

We are still looking for someone to care for Kona and Buddy while we are in Australia for Christmas. Cindy wants someone to come to her house and care for both dogs. We need to get that settled soon.

I am still getting all our business affairs transferred to me and Cindy and Paul came over one day to help me work on my church donations and reimbursements. My utilities are pretty well under control now and Phil and Eric have been helping me with other things. Tom did so much and he is missed in every way and on every level.

November 16, 2022

 Kona did well in the winter weather of Kelowna. We enjoyed being with the family and I really appreciated Brendon checking my teeth. I have been concerned about having them taken care of. November 11th was a school holiday and Brendon doesn’t work on Fridays so I flew out early Friday morning. Liza arrived home on Saturday.  It was a smaller plane and Kona seemed a little more concerned. I thought perhaps her ears were bothering her more. She has done well though, both flying and being at the Burgess home. 

We arrived home in time for us all to get to my parents’ cemetery  before 11 o’clock. The Hardy family then took me home, raked my leaves, put my Christmas lights up and took me to WhiteSpot for a late lunch. I am a lucky grandmother. Kona was happy in Kelowna but she was excited to be home.

I did my Temple Shift on Saturday. I helped a young girl from Bellingham go through the Temple for the first time. The Hardy family checked in on Kona. I did my tithing declaration with the Bishop before church on Sunday. Brother Chan contacted Salt Lake for me to determine how much Tom had paid in Fast Offerings and when he had stopped paying. He had remarkably paid the first four months of the year and been even more generous than I had expected. He kept doing everything he could until he just could not. He was and is remarkable. My neighbor Jean came down with covid and I made her some turkey burger soup and dropped it off at her door. Jane Komm came to visit me today while Ron served as sealer in the Temple. I made her lunch and we had a nice visit. She brought me some lovely flowers. I attended my own session at the Temple yesterday and Cory Wanner told me he felt Tom was watching over our Temple and that he felt Tom there, just for moment, yesterday. It made me cry and he apologized but no one should apologize for causing me to cry. It is part of almost every one of my days.

I am grateful for the kindness, love and support of family and friends. When difficult times come in life suddenly there is a multitude on both sides of the veil holding you up and you realize how blessed you are.

I am just praying for assistance with my pre authorized payment of some of my bills. I think they are in limbo between Tom and myself. I have faith that things will get settled. Being late with bills has not been part of our life and my faithful husband saw to that. I made sure bills were paid at the office. I am not good with online things but I am trying and trying to get my life in some kind of order but it will never totally be right until I am with Tom again.

November 9, 2022

 I am in Kelowna at the moment helping Brendon with the children while Liza is taking a course in Colorado. She has been trying to get to this particular course since covid and has finally made it there, although I am not sure if she is enjoying the whole process and the trip down was a nightmare with flight delays. The children all have busy schedules and for the most part Brendon is driving to and from their activities with them. I “hold down the Fort” as we describe my role. I get Sayde ready and off in the morning and I am here for her when she returns home on the bus, I do laundry, dishes, make lunches and cook meals. I have to drive Sayde to her tennis lesson tonight with Keaton coming along as my helper. Brendon kindly allowed me to have a dental checkup and I drove their big handicap van down to his office for that on icy roads. I took Kona in her little travel crate. I think I am getting old. I help Sayde shower and do other things. She has hit puberty early and we have discussed the need to restrain ourselves from adolescent outbursts because she has been such a sweet little girl in the past. All territory of a grandmother. I arrived last Sunday afternoon with Kona flying with me in cabin. She did well, not happy but well. She has been doing well here too and the children enjoy her except for her loud barking when they return home or come down the stairs in the morning.  We fly home early on Friday, November 11th as I have my Temple shift on Saturday and I hope to get to the cemeteries that day. Coming from Vancouver to Kelowna was like coming from fall to winter and I now feel like Christmas and even did my online Christmas shopping while here.

8

We had our Stake Leadership Meeting last Wednesday evening. Sam came to stay with Kona and Paul drove me early while Cindy came later as part of the YW leadership in the Ward. I discussed “Resources” and tried to simplify the program and resources that are available as I think people are busy and have trouble dealing with all the material they have access too. I made the apple cider as my part of the refreshments. I had a zoom meeting last night with Marcy and Cathy which worked out well for me.

Once LeadershIp was over, I spent last week getting things done and preparing for my trip here. I managed to find a small pharmacy that was willing and able to give me both my 5th covid shot and my annual flu shot. The big pharmacies were out of stock or needing advanced booking for appointments. I got Kona’s flea and tick pill too. We had a big wind storm last Friday that left me without power from Friday evening until mid Saturday. I had to open the garage manually to get to my Temple shift. Cindy and Paul came to check on the dog. The time change was on the weekend too. I try hard to manage all these challenges but mis Tom and his capable know how and physical strength. Women are not meant to be alone and I just miss him, pray for him and love him. 

November 2, 2022

 I am preparing for my first Stake YW leadership meeting this evening. Cindy and Paul have to go too so I will be with them and Sam may puppy sit for me as little Missy doesn’t like to be left in her crate and she is not ready to be left alone out of her crate. I am discussing Resources available for the YW’s  Program. I probably received this assignment so I could become acquainted with the resources myself. My first inclination when I am dealing with such things is to simplify.  Everyone deals with assignments or anything in life best when things are kept simple. 

We had our Halloween TriStake Activity last Friday evening at the Christensen’s property and barn. Liza and Brendon’s ward were coming for baptisms and asked to join too. I bought the food and manned the food table all night outside by the fire. I was very cold and tired by the end of the night but I think the youth had a good time. I am just  old.  Breya couldn’t come because of work but Brendon brought Keaton and some youth down Friday for the activity and Liza and Sayde drove down Saturday morning and Bryson flew in from Edmonton to be with his family and attend a YSA conference. Brendon drove some youth back to Kelowna later on Saturday and Liza, Bryson, Keaton and Sayde left Sunday evening. I hated to have Liza driving back so late in the evening and I just prayed bfor their safety as the weather is changing with snow in the mountains. It was a busy weekend and I also worked my Saturday Temple shift. I as tired and I tend to be more emotional and miss Tom even more.

Although it is nice today, we have had some bad winds and rain and our power went out on Thursday while I was at Costco and I couldn’t get back into the garage when I got home. My car was full of food for the youth activity and I hated to leave the car with food inside out on the driveway. Power returned in a few hours and I got the car inside and plugged it in to charge. That is the one problem you have with an electric car, no power for the house - no power for the car. The power did not, however,  return to my bedroom outlets but Scott helped me correct that with pictures of and FaceTime with my breaker box. Brendon trimmed my cedar hedge and Liza helped me with some other things. Grateful for my children and for light and heat. I am trying my best to deal with things but I miss Tom on all levels.

Halloween went better than I thought it might. Kona did bark when the children came to the door (over 100 children) but she stayed back and if I held her, she didn’t bark at all. The children loved her and some wanted to pet her. By the time the fireworks were popping outside, she was exhausted and asleep on my lap so they didn’t bother her.

It has been a busy week as most weeks are but I have managed pretty well. Tears are still part of my days but that may never change, not in this life anyway. I love him and miss him so.