May 31, 2022

 It is my mother’s birthday today and if she were alive she would be 102 years old. I am sure she is aware of what is going on in our lives right now and praying for us as are many on both sides of the veil. We receive messages of love daily and can feel the sustaining influence of all those prayers.

At the moment we are still in the Abbotsford hospital and in palliative care. We made the decision to move to this ward yesterday. It has been a week of ups and downs. Tom’s bowel blockage was cleared with the human “draino” medication and now we are waiting for things to get moving normally again. The treatment has left his potassium low and he is also retaining fluids requiring diuretics. Retained fluids result in breathing problems so we feel we are part of a domino game. His mind is a little fuzzy due to his medications. He is tired and weak. We came to this ward because they could give him more attention and prepare us to go home better equipped. It has been a difficult time for both of us and Tom is handling so much so well. He is remarkable. This is the greatest challenge we have ever experienced and cuts us to an inner core of pain that is indescribable. The Lord certainly has his lessons and this one has brought us to our knees emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I come early every morning and stay fairly late until I feel he is settled. He feels better if I am here. He is always grateful to see me come thru the door. He has pain in his upper abdomen that they are uncertain about as to whether it is cancer or not. I am tired but somehow blessed as I drive back and forth to Abbotsford. I am very grateful for Tom’s decision to get the Tesla as it is so easy to drive and I only have to plug it in rather than worry about getting gas. Cindy is helping prepare me food and buy food I need, leaving it in our fridge. Mary Harvey kindly came yesterday and brought me a bag of food and walked with me down to the palliative care to see the room they had to offer us. It was so nice to have her with me. Joanne calls every day and has offered to come over. They sent us flowers to brighten our room. Our children are in constant contact with each other and us. I have prepared my talk for the special Stake Conference with Bishop Waddell this Sunday. It has been good for me to have that to do and Cindy and Paul taught me how to write it on my IPad so I am able to go over it daily. I just don’t want to cry while giving it.

This is such difficult time for us but we know we have angels all around.

May 22, 2022

We are so excited as Liza is in Tulsa, Oklahoma, alone, running her 6th Iron Man race. She was racing for her Dad and came in second in her category, the first place racer being a pro. She wore her Hawaiian Aloha gear in honour of her Dad and she did did exactly what she intended to do. So proud of her and thrilled for her. We were ALL cheering from afar. 

We are in Abbotsford Hospital and have been since Friday as Tom was unable to keep any food down. Cindy came into emergency with us and we got along very well and set up in a private area of emergency that night. They did a CT and said he had a bowel blockage and possible cancer near the liver. They put the dreaded NG tube down his nose to relieve pressure on the bowel and hopefully help it correct itself.  We had been for a platelet transfusion earlier that day at LMH and Amanda talked to us about coming to the hospital and we had also been on the phone with Rhonda, at Dr. Collingridge’s office as well, getting encouragement to go in for help. We left him settled there about 11:30 and I returned as quickly as I could Saturday morning to find him now in Zone 3, a very overcrowded area of emergency. I was distressed to say the least. The doctors came in and said they felt the bowel blockage was probably cancer related and surgery would not be an option to correct it. Now I really was concerned and distressed and asked if we could pay for a private room. They said there was absolutely nothing available in the hospital but when they saw our distress and they too were concerned for him, they assured us that they would try to get him into a private area in emergency. Cindy came in and then went out again to buy me a Teenburger and Tom’s female roommate Dale a sandwich and pop. We are trying to do good the best we can under the circumstances. We kept waiting for a change of location and they finally told us they had a real hospital room available. Cindy was with us when they brought us over and we were thrilled when it turned out to be a beautiful private corner room with a bathroom. It was a miracle and truly the heaven we were seeking and needing. Cindy left and I remained until late evening before going home. I am back now and we have done our best to watch Sacrament meeting and do our Come Follow Me and keep track of Liza. They have asked if we would be interested in transferring to the palliative care area to get even more support and instruction for our home transition. We understand the situation is serious but we remain hopeful and prayerful. We love our UK nurse Kate here and hate to be transferred away from her. 

Our life has been changing quickly and we are working hard to keep up. We appreciate the prayers of so many from both sides of the veil and truly feel lifted and carried by them. We have seen miracles and we expect to see more. 

I have been blessed with a remarkable companion who has taught me more than any other how to live a Christlike life. He is a humble man, without guile and has always been a faithful servant of the Lord. I feel much like Maria in The Sound of Music, that some where in my past I must of done something awfully “good” to deserve him.

May 17, 2022

 Our time continues with testing for and platelet and blood transfusions for Tom. The platelets seem to get so low before we get the transfusions and we are feeling that he needs them done twice a week to maintain a descent level. The blood transfusions seem to be needed every other week.

 Last week we went for his monthly zometa infusion, a special blood draw to be tested in California and and his regular blood test all on one day. It was very tiring for both of us. His platelet count actually appeared to be be pretty good that day but our dear Amanda at LMH read last weeks results and made him an appointment for transfusions on Friday. It proved to be a miracle as Tom felt by Friday that he was needing help and we drove to the hospital for the appointment. Amanda called while we were in the parking lot to tell us we didn’t need to come in as the level appeared to be okay. However, when she heard his concerns she encouraged him to come into to hospital and be retested. The count was at a dangerous low and she immediately had platelets cabbed in from Abbotsford and arranged for blood as well. She stayed late to get him going and arranged for an evening nurse, who does antibiotic transfusions, to take us on when she left to complete the five hours of transfusions. We could see miracles all along the way as we concluded the week.

Tom’s tummy still remains unsettled and he has discussed an endoscopy with Dr. Goodwin at LMH. Dr. Goodwin was my surgeon with my appendix and bowel blockage. Medications don’t seem to be helping how he feels and Dr. Bahl has suggested some changes. It is a constant effort to help him eat and feel okay. He is taking painkillers four times a day now, his own decision choice being Tylenol/codeine. That seems to be what helps most. The children are in constant contact with us and we appreciate that.

The work done in our yard looks very nice but cannot be completed until we have some dry weather and that is not forthcoming. We have more bushes that have not handled the last year well and they too may need replacing. Always something. 

Our washer broke down around the time Liza left and, when we were told that parts may take awhile arriving and further troubles may appear after that, we ordered a new washer and dryer. Dear David Bigler came to help remove the old ones in preparation for the delivery and installation of the new. David wants to repair the old washer himself, so Tom suggested giving the old set to him for repair and that David could then give them to whoever he deems to be in need of a washer and dryer. The new LGs were delivered and installed on Saturday and are being well used. It is hard to be without a washer.

May 7, 2022

 My blogging is unpredictable these days as our days are full and ever changing with Tom’s new regime of treatments. He had two bags of platelets yesterday which is not the norm but what the hospital wanted to try and got approval to do. Platelet transfusions only take an hour as opposed to blood transfusions which take two hours each and when he has two bags of blood plus a bag of platelets,  it takes five hours of transfusing. He is needing platelets every week and blood every other week so far. We have been working at setting up a standing order for transfusions at the Langley Memorial Hospital weekly. We like the transfusion nurses there plus they work hard to get what we need.

Trevor came to spend last week with us and left on Sunday. We really appreciated having him here. He helped us get to appointments at the hospital, helped with Tom, meals, dishes and pulled a tree and grapevine out of the yard that needed to be removed. He gave Tom a blessing before he left which was lovely. He missed his wife’s birthday this time and missed their anniversary the last time he was here. We had given the go ahead for landscapers to redo the back patio with bricks and to add more river rocks and possibly change the grass to artificial turf. We are trying to minimize yard care but at a cost. Trevor was here as they started their work and we were all impressed with the calibre of work displayed.

Larissa and Colton arrived to be with us this week. The children are working together rotating in and out to help us and we really appreciate their efforts and feel very blessed. We have wonderful children and grandchildren. Rissa tried to help me become more online savvy with our banking, bills and money. Tom has always paid our home bills and I have always paid the office bills. Rissa cleaned our fridge, vacuumed the house, learned how to drive our Tesla, shopped for groceries and made me a lovely Mother’s Day dinner on Friday after Liza drove down from Kelowna. We had just our three girls for dinner. Very nice. Trevor FaceTimed later feeling he was being left out. Rissa was able to get her Apple phone repaired while she was here so that helped her.  Liza is here now and attending Keaton and Bryson’s wrestling tournament in Abbotsford. They drove down with their team. She will be with us until Monday. We are very blessed and very grateful.

We have decided to go ahead with the backyard turf and also have river rock and plantings put between our driveway and Marie’s. She is happy to simplify too. They have started this work now and our yard is in transition. 

We called the Rolfsons this week and asked for a “leave of absence” at the Temple until we sort out what Tom’s treatments will be and what his energy level will be but he insisted on going to the Temple this morning to attend a session. I cannot keep him from the Temple and the people love to see him there and I know the Lord loves him and appreciates his efforts. He is very special. When we were doing volunteer ever dental work in Jerusalem and he broke his ankle but continued to serve, the clinic secretary was trying to find an adjective to describe him and when I suggested “special”, she quickly agreed. He is special and I have always seen it and known it and have been blessed to be the one to be part of his remarkable service filled life. He is a sincerely humble and a man without guile who truly loves the Lord and his fellow men and serves only out of desire and sense of duty and concern. 

April 24, 2022

 I am behind in my posting as we have had a busy couple of weeks and some additional challenges with Tom’s health. After we sent Tom’s blood work and PSMA test results to Doctor Kulkarni in Germany in preparation for our next trip this month and an actinium treatment, we received an email from him stating that they were sorry but they could not do the treatment as Tom’s platelet count was too low. We had not been monitoring his blood platelets and so had not noted that they had dropped significantly. Dr, Collingridge became involved and required more blood testing and then when the count dropped to 10, he told us we needed to get to emergency for a blood and platelet transfusion. It was Thursday afternoon before Good Friday and Cindy suggested we go the Surrey Memorial hospital. She came with us and got us on our way, to the point where I could only go on with Tom. We were finally admitted for care and put into an emergency private room. It was after midnight before the the first of two bags of blood were given to him and one bag of platelets. That is a total of 5 hours of transfusions or essentially the whole night. Liza and Keaton drove down that evening and stayed at our house. I spent the night with Tom and they said they wanted him to remain so they could monitor his count. Liza came to the hospital to stay with Tom during the afternoon and Keaton and I returned home so I could have a sleep. I returned later for the evening and Cindy then came in to stay the night. Tom’s platelets stayed up and in the morning, now Saturday, when I returned, they discharged him. Their emergency is huge and was very busy and they didn’t want Tom staying in longer than necessary and getting sick. He seemed to be feeling better with his blood boost. Brendon and the other Burgess children had now driven down to spend Easter with us. They were all good and helped with yard work and planting a new bush in the front to replace one that died through the winter. We loved having some different meals prepared for us. Liza stayed a couple of days after her family left and then drove back by herself. We really appreciate all the children and grandchildren and their attentiveness and help.

We were busy this week dealing with all that we seem to need to deal with. We went to the Temple to do a session. I cannot hold Tom back. We got blood tests and they determined toward the end of the week that his platelet count was extremely low again and we went back into the hospital, this time to Langley, to receive more platelets. We anticipate that we may need to do this twice a week but have to get some kind of schedule going. The doctors seem to want to establish that schedule too. His tummy has been so upset and limiting his eating that the specialist wants to give him an endoscopy to check things out but we have to have his platelets up to accomplish that. Nothing happens without the platelets up. We went for a blood test today, which is Sunday, in order to evaluate the platelets and qualify for another infusion before Wednesday when the endoscopy is scheduled. Trevor is on his way to be with us this week but he forgot his passport and it has to be couriered to him in Bellingham before he can get here. We need his help this week. This path is not for the faint of heart. Tom is tired, weak and losing weight as a result of his diminished appetite. He wants me to drive now and we only put our energy into appointments and the Temple. He served as the sealer at the Temple yesterday afternoon and truly gives his all. I do my best to monitor him.

So many people are so kind and so many are praying for us. We feel it and it lifts and carries us.

April 12, 2022

 Roger’s burial and funeral service were last Tuesday and it was all lovely. His three children Leonard, Richard and Kristina prepared and did everything. They invited us to go to the graveside service at the Fort Langley cemetery. He had been cremated and they buried him in a beautiful spot under a tree. It was all very simple with just family, us and Jesse Leavitt there. It was a sunny day but a little chilly. The funeral service was held later at the chapel and again was done nicely with John, Richard and Leonard speaking and granddaughters singing. We are going to miss our dear friend Roger but we are grateful that he is able to move on now without pain and illness. We love him.

Tom has had a difficult week with significant pain in his left leg and for awhile in his chest. It seems to come and go in different spots. The pain is draining on him and does not respond well to painkillers. We have managed to attend the Temple and also work our Saturday afternoon shift. He seems to rally for the Temple and in the Temple. We are hoping for and praying for some kind of pain relief and direction for further treatment. I am trying to up his nutrients in an attempt to improve his blood platelet level. His nose is bleeding a little and that is an indication of low platelet counts. Some cancer treatments are unavailable when those counts are low so we are eager to talk to the oncologist Dr. Suo on Thursday to get some insight and understanding on how to move forward. We are hoping some radiation can be done on his leg as that can help with pain and strengthen bone and we would really like to to get his platelet counts up and return to Germany. We had a bad day on Monday and he couldn’t keep food down but he insisted on doing his Tuesday morning Temple shift as sealer. He did it, weary though he was, and I stayed with him the whole time. His nose started to bleed under his mask toward the end but he is stoic and determined to be of benefit in the Lord’s work. We took him on Thursday to receive his 4th covid shot. I wish I had asked that they do mine as well.

Life is challenging but we move forward with faith and a deep love for the Lord and for each other and for His plan. People are so kind with prayers, messages, phone calls and love.

April 7, 2022

 It has been a difficult week for us but we feel very blessed in so many ways. We had a wonderful General Conference on the weekend and oh how that lifted our spirits and gave us hope. We have a remarkable Prophet who serves alongside remarkable leaders, all working to our benefit with sincere desires to accomplish the Lord’s work. We personally have also been blessed with remarkable children who rally to our aid and support, keeping in touch with us, offering love, insight and suggestions.  We have the Temple that offers us reprieve from the world and hope for the world to come. 

Joanne was out walking Jeff’s dog when the dog spotted a doggie friend across the street and took off with Joanne racing behind. She fell and broke her hip and has had to have a partial hip replacement. The accident happened on Friday and her surgery took place on Sunday. Jeff has stepped up to take care of Dave doing all the driving and cooking. Joanne is the caregiver for Dave but Jeff is doing a fine job. She has had some dizziness and bladder infection but she is starting to improve. Dave keeps us up to date on things and I have talked to her a couple of times and sent flowers. 

Heather called to say that Rex is in the hospital and probably will not be coming home. They have been living in Cardston these last few years to be close to the Temple. Heather says he has been falling lately and his mind is a little confused. Aging is a very difficult time for all of us.

Tom had his PSMA pet scan last week and his blood test and we sent the results to Germany and Dr. Kulkarni to see it we qualified to return to Germany for further treatment - this time using actinium rather than lutetium or a combination of both. We received word from Doctor Kulkarni Monday morning saying they could not proceed at this time as Tom’s blood platelets have dropped. He would like him to try to get the count up and return at a later date. We were very disappointed but have made an appointment with our oncologist Doctor Suo to discuss what other steps we can be taking. Also on Monday, his left knee and femur very suddenly developed sever pain and Dr. Collingridge suggested we get an X-ray to determine if he had developed a cancer fracture. Cindy left work early to drive with us to the hospital and he had the X-ray done. We prayed and prayed that day and our family prayed. The next day the pain was essentially gone and the X-ray indicated no fracture. Truly a miracle. His tummy has been upset for about a month and he had an ultrasound Tuesday morning. That test indicated that there were no problems seen. The children have suggested that he may have developed gluten intolerance and we are now trying to have him eat gluten free. Paul gave him a lovely blessing on Sunday after General conference and we are hoping to claim those blessings mentioned. President Nelson said we should have faith to expect miracles and we have certainly had them and are expecting more. We don’t know what form they will take but we are expecting them.

I could write pages extolling the virtues of my precious husband. I have always felt beyond blessed to have him as my earthly and eternal companion. I have always felt no couple could possibly love each other more than we do. He loves and serves the Lord, loves and serves his family and his fellow man and he loves and cares for me. He has taught me more about the Savior and Christlike behaviour than anyone I have ever known. He is completely selfless and without guile. He is a humble “gentleman” in every respect.