I mustered up my courage yesterday, a snowy yesterday, and cleaned up Tom’s nest of things on his shelf in our closet. Some things I moved to his dresser drawer and others went into the garbage. I have slowly been going thru his clothes, washing, ironing and folding his sports shirts ready to be made into a quilt, giving his suits and coats to the Hardy family, going thru his pants for donation and give away. Having his belongings around has provided me comfort but I realize that his life and not his things is the treasured memory. He is, however, so present in my life that I do not think of him as a memory. I read this quote on Facebook this morning. “…grief only exists where love lived first.” Franchesca Cox. So many painful and powerful lessons this loss has taught me. I have learned that tremendous pain and tremendous peace can live in the same house. I have learned that love remains very real across the veil. I have learned that the veil itself is very thin and you can experience the presence of your loved one and their involvement in your life on an almost constant basis. I have learned that you can request their presence and their assistance at anytime and they will be there. I have learned that they are not far away at all. Having said all this I would give anything to see him walk down the hall of the Temple in his white suit toward me. That is one of my favorite things. Sometimes, when I could not find him in the Temple anywhere, I would, as a last resort, go to the Celestial Room and he would be sitting there alone and quiet. He loves the Temple and I loved to see him in the Temple. He belonged there.
Our very cold weather has warmed a bit but in its place we received a very large snow fall yesterday and the kind neighbors and sister missionaries shoveled my driveway and walks at least three times. I cleared a patch of grass in the backyard for Kona. Everyone was snowbound and school was cancelled giving Cindy, Jean and the kids a break. Paul and Jack worked from home. I invited the Sisters and Jean for dinner as no one could get out and cooking and getting together seemed a good option. Luckily I taught Jennifer Shen her follow up Temple lesson on Tuesday evening before the snows arrived.
Jack gave his homecoming talk on Sunday and did an excellent job. Family and friends were there to support him. Members were impressed by his words and maturity. He is doing very well with and being so kind to Sianne’s family and he finally encountered Sianne and Caleb this week at institute and greeted them and congratulated them. I am so proud of him. He has goods things ahead. Bryson has completed his first week in the Provo MTC.
Kona had an upset tummy again Friday night and we were up several times. I managed to get her to the vet for medicine and a blood test before my Temple shift Saturday. She seems to repeat this every once and awhile and I am not sure why.
The snow remains in large piles today but so far no additional snowfall though school is cancelled again and people are working from home.
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