June 28, 2023

 I am in Tennessee with Trevor’s family. The wedding has occurred! We arrived in Philadelphia Thursday evening and finally got our rental car from Dollar - very slow. We arrived at the Marriott Hotel after midnight and got into our room. The trip had gone well and I enjoyed flying Air Canada except - except when about an hour to forty-five minutes out of Montreal, as I was looking out the window, another plane was right on our wing a little way off and was gone immediately leaving an air stream. Nothing was said by the pilot but I sure it was or should have been reported. It could have been a catastrophic mistake by pilots or ground control. It really could have been a midair collision. It appeared to be another Air Canada passenger plane. I was not frightened but it was startling and concerning. Certainly we had my father and Tom as our angels as we made that trip. I am sure my father was on alert.

Trevor and I were the first ones up the next day and went to visit in the lobby. Justin and Treyson joined us and finally the girls and others. Cindy and I went shopping at Target nearby and picked up some gifts for the baby and a few other things. Liza had a good rest in bed later to catch up. We had the rehearsal dinner after the rehearsal at the venue. We went to an Italian restaurant for the dinner and Trevor and Tammie hosted that. Trevor, however, would not pay for alcohol.

June 24 - The wedding day! The wedding did not start until late afternoon but Tammie and all the girls had to go early for hair and makeup and the boys went a little later making it a long day. The girls and I went to Target again and had a little breakfast at Starbucks in the store and did some shopping too. We got ourselves ready and drove back to the venue which was a farm in the beautiful countryside. We even had a long wait after that before things got started. They had a shuttle bus bringing people from the hotel and prepared to take them back later after a night of drinking. The weather was hot and humid and we had a rain shower before the outdoor ceremony. Trevor performed the ceremony and he did well. Mo and Zach had written vows and Trevor added a bit more of his own. Justin, Treyvn, Treyson and Jadyn were all part of the wedding party and they did well. Zach also had Mo’s brother and two of his hockey friends and Mo had her sister and friends along with Jadyn. We moved into the barn for the reception. It really was lovely and well done and Mo’s parents wanted to make sure we were having a good time. There was lots of food, music and a bar for those who were drinking. There was lots of dancing too, especially as the night moved on. Zach’s host family that he lived with in Michigan drove down and that was very kind. They are church members. Everyone loves Zach. Mo is cute and very outgoing. We did like her family although her sister would not talk to us. I think she is jealous of Monica and does not seem to like Zach, I believe because of that jealousy that seems to be going on. I am grateful for Cindy and Liza for being there to support Zach and the family and to support me. Overall things went well.

Justin is struggling with JayLynn and his concerns back home but he did well and is a good little father. He and Treyson left early Sunday morning, Cindy and Liza left early too and the rest of us left for Tennessee later after we had a wedding breakfast at the hotel with guests staying at the hotel and Mo and Zach, who were at the hotel too. Zach tries to make sure everyone is taken care of and even had two of his hockey friends stay with he and Mo at the beach house for the next couple of days. I told him a honeymoon is not a team sport.

Tammie and Trevor are renovating their kitchen and bathroom so their home is a construction zone even though the completed work is looking great. They do have a lot of corrections be made and Tammie is making lists and connecting with contractors. It is a difficult process to renovate. Liza is struggling with her pool construction too and with errors being made.

We have been doing some shopping and such here in Tennessee and driving Trey to football etc. Trevor has got a bad cold and today Jadyn came down with it. Justin is also not feeling well and that could be a concern for JayLynn. I have also met Trey’s girlfriend Jaya and Jadyn’s boyfriend Jack Jack and yes,  it is two Jacks.

I return home tomorrow flying to Oakland and then up to Bellingham. I have been concerned about Kona and apparently she is not eating too well. She is a pumpkin. I have asked that they keep her until Friday morning as I arrive late in the evening tomorrow. Cindy and Paul will pick me up.

I am grateful for my children and all they do for me. I am missing my husband but I am certain he is near us throughout these celebrations and sorrows. 

June 22, 2023

 Cindy, Liza and I are in the Calgary airport on our way to Zach’s wedding in New Jersey. We will fly from here to Montreal and on to Philadelphia which is near New Jersey. The girls are returning home on Sunday and I will go back to Tennessee with Trevor’s family for a few days, flying home on Thursday. I have put Kona in a kennel and that was difficult as she was crying and upset. I hope she manages alright. I was upset too because they would not let me tour their facility. 

I have spent the last few days getting everything in order at my home and with my business affairs. I have completely shut down the Alberta numbered company with the help of Phil our accountant. I also got the year end information sent to Phil for the two BC companies and I had a meeting and with Eric and Sherri my financial planners. I met with my friend Rosemarie to discuss her home decor. Jamie and his son Brock are staying at my house on Friday night while they are here for Brock to run a race so I have tried to have things ready for them and food in the fridge and freezer. 

JayLynn is at her parents home right now but is experiencing pneumonia. She is having such a difficult time. Tammie took Treyson home with her and Justin is flying out for Zach’s wedding this weekend and will take the baby back with him. This is very hard for this little family and they are trying so hard. I just hope and pray that some solution is found to help stabilize her.

I have had the house and the windows washed this week and I also got the car washed. I am doing my best. I have also made arrangements with Ryan to complete my front yard. He should be doing it in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully the house will be in shape then but I do need to put sealer on my driveway and possibly the back patio stones. I need to clean the garage too. I guess there still is more to be done. Always more and I miss discussing all the needs and decisions with Tom.

As we fly across the country today we will pass thru all the cities I grew up in - Vancouver, Calgary and Montreal. It is literally a tour of the cities where we were based and during my Dad’s flying career. I am taking my girls on a tour of my childhood.

June 13, 2023

 You never know what twist or turn life will bring and this has been a difficult week for Justin and JayLynn. Her Crohn’s disease has certainly been a problem since having Treyson. She ended up in ICU last week after losing consciousness due a seizure. They determined that the seizures were a result of medication induced blood leakage in her brain. Her BP was really high too and then fluid started to build up in her lungs. On Saturday morning after trying to cough up mucous she heart stopped and she coded. They brought her back and Tammie made the decision to fly to Utah. JayLynn’s family has been with them all along. We have been praying and we fasted as a family on Sunday. She started improving on Sunday and has been fighting hard to come back. She is a nurse so is asking lots of questions. She and Treyson have been able to have some time together and I am certain that Justin has appreciated having his own mother with him. It is, however, Zach’s wedding next week which is adding some concern as Justin is his best man and would want to be with his brother in New Jersey on his wedding day. We are not certain how all of that will work out but JayLynn will certainly not be going and hopefully will be in a stable condition by next week. Justin’s work has given him a paid week off. Miracles are always involved - they had just moved to the bigger community of St. George, Utah with hospitals available; her brother Joel had come to be with her while Justin was at work because she had, had a really bad headache and he was with her when the first seizure hit; her cognitive capacity seems to be intact and so on. We are grateful for all those things and praying for this little family. Jack sent his love to them from Africa in his weekly audio message. Grateful for family.

I am in the process of shutting down one of our numbered companies. Tom and I have had our accountant Phil working on this for a few years and it is finally happening. I had to have Wayne find me lawyer in Alberta as it is an Alberta company. I have had to have papers notarized and yesterday I went into the bank to follow Phil’s directions for removing most of the money from the account to my account as dividends and shareholder loans. It will be good to have this settled and have one less thing to worry about. Simplifying is what I am endeavouring to do. 

Ryan, my landscaper, gave me and the Chabots a quote for having turf put down in our front yards. I am ready to go ahead with the project and I hope they are okay with it too. Ryan has agreed to replace my back turf  for free so I am willing to do this final project and then be grass free and landscape complete.

I gave my talk in church on Sunday and did a part in the Relief Society lesson. I have to speak in the YSA sacrament meeting in July after I get back from Zach’s wedding. Seems I give a talk once a month.

Bryson arrived home from his humanitarian FSY in Ghana and was able to drop by to see me for a short time while he waited for his ride to pick him up. He brought me an African fan. 

I am grateful that the spirit and angels can bless our lives because I feel and need both and know that Tom is near and can be near the children in their needs. It brings me comfort and I hope it brings comfort to them.

June 7, 2023

 This has been a week of remembering, tears, gratitude and peace. It was a year ago yesterday that Tom passed and I am feeling overwhelmed again by the kindness and love shown towards me by so many. Cindy took the day off work to be with me and we went to the cemetery where we cleaned the grave digging weeds and adding soil and seed to the top. I had bought a new arrangement to place there until we can get the headstone layed next month. We then went for brunch in Fort Langley and came home. When we opened the front door there were flowers and treats from various people. I cannot believe that people remembered what day it was for me. I was so touched. DeEtte messaged and performed a random act of kindness in honor of Tom, Heather phoned, Joanne and Dave messaged, and Max and Ross sent sweet messages. Kelly Groom called on behalf of the Sechelt branch. Cindy and I then packed the dog up and went to West Vancouver to visit Mom and Dad’s graves and place some plants there. The memories of this past year and the two previous years have been poignant and though having Tom leave me was the thing I dreaded most and the thing that has hurt on a level I have never experienced before, I think I have become stronger physically, mentally and spiritually because of it and because I have had too. I miss him on all those levels too but I have faith that the Lord will make all things right and wipe away all tears. I am so blessed by wonderful family members and friends - Jesus being one of them. I truly have been lifted and carried. I watched Tom’s memorial again when it popped up on my device and I cried.

I have been working on a talk to give this Sunday and Mary has asked me to do a part in her Relief Society lesson as well. I am missing the Temple being open but I am trying to get things done that need to be done. I have been looking for hula hoops for Moroni’s Quest,  baking muffins and trying to give them away. I took store bought cookies to Ezra Peralto as he loved the Girl Guide cookies he had at my house. Jean and Cheyenne came over to spend one evening. Cheyenne has broken up with her boyfriend and she is confused. I hope that I am saying the right things.

The weather has been lovely and they yard looks beautiful but it keeps me busy with watering when it gets hot. Oh well, that is the cost we pay to have things looking good. I am waiting for Ryan’s quote for the front yard being turfed but I know he is really busy right now. My neighbors want to go in on it too so I don’t want them to become anxious about the delay. I have ordered a little bench for the back deck.

We mourn deeply when we love deeply. I am willing to go thru the mourning to have the privilege of loving Tom Walker and being loved by Tom Walker. I have made it thru one year. One year closer to Jesus and Tom Walker. 

Cindy got me peonies like those Tom brought me from our yard in Edmonton when she was born. Melanie Leonard heard the story and brought me and Cindy more peonies.❤️❤️

June 1, 2023

 The Temple has closed and I believe I am feeling the loss even though I have much I want to get done during the break. I am feeling lonely on my own without the Temple and my associations there and just missing Tom as the anniversary of his passing approaches but I miss him all the time. I do not want to ever wallow in self pity because I am so blessed and so blessed to have him forever and I am trying to be brave, capable and strong and worthy to be with him. Enough of that - onward.

I took Kona back to the vet and her follow up test indicated that she is parasite free which I was pretty certain of.

I drove Bela to the hospital in Maple Ridge for her to have an appointment with the doctor regarding her broken collar bone Friday morning. She broke it when she fell in Hawaii while running to catch a bus. She  is healing well and was told that she could now drive again but to be careful. 

Liza, Breya and Sayde drove down Friday evening and stayed the night before driving to Seattle to attend Les Mis on Saturday evening. They drove home from there on Sunday after going to church in Seattle. 

I also had three female billets from Washington State stay Friday evening and Saturday evening while attending the Mid Single Adult Conference being held here. It was a full house Friday evening. I had been working on my talk for the Mid Single conference and spoke at their  Sacrament meeting held at the YSA building on Sunday. Elder Wolsey spoke as well along with another young mother from Coquitlam ward. My talk was Arise and Touch the Face of God. I have now been asked to speak in our Sacrament meeting on June 11 and I am working on that talk The Light Will Come on personal revelation. 

I attended James and Bela’s sealing on Saturday before I worked my final Temple shift. Tom and I had attended Roger and Bela’s sealing years ago in Cardston and I was certain Roger and Tom were with us for this one as well and that Roger was okay. Leonard was a toddler at the first sealing, he was a witness at this sealing. Shauna and Rick Humphreys are retiring from their Temple service as Saturday afternoon coordinators and I will truly miss them. They have served faithfully and are dear friends.

I have been doing quite a bit of baking lately and giving most away. I have also been trying to help Cheyenne with boy problems. I really want her involved with the church kids and institute for the summer. She has broken up with her boyfriend from school. 

Ryan came to look at my burnt turf and says he will replace it but I don’t want him to do that until fall when I can be certain that no more burning will be occurring. He is going to give me an estimate on turfing the front yard and Ann and Dominic have asked to be included as well.

And so it goes. I am alone and sometimes lonely but always blessed and always grateful.