Being alone is not a normal way to be and though I am trying hard to do my best, I do not think it will ever feel right. I miss Tom with every breath I take but he always said he would be gone long before me and I needed to stay and take care of the children, so here I am praying for the help I need to carry on. People think I am being brave but I think Heavenly Father is extending extra mercy when there is such a great loss and this is great loss, not only for me but for many others and I carry their grief too. I feel him near and I hope that never changes.
Cindy and family have been busy this week making sure Max’s Jacqui has had the whole Vancouver experience. They have been all over the lower mainland going on hikes, picking berries, attending events, meeting friends and family and just enjoying getting to know each other and connect as family. In some ways it has been good to have her here on her own so they could give her their full attention. Liza and the three youngest children drove down on Friday to meet Jacqui and to bless me by being here. We went to the North Shore on Friday and walked the sea wall, had Chinese food, drove passed our house and visited the Cleveland Dam. It was a lovely warm day as it has been all week for Jacqui. I had my Temple shift on Saturday and Liza went for a bike ride, took the children to the par core park and the older two to the drive-in movie and Sayde and I watched our own movie at home after going for A+W. We visited the cemetery Sunday morning as a family before church and checked on the shapes of headstones. It hurts when the children leave for home each time they go. It hurts even more now. I cleaned my old black flower pots for Liza to take before they got here. They looked pretty good.
Marilyn Larson passed away after a blood clot appeared to go to her brain. I attended her funeral service last Thursday evening and took some food over to Ron last night. He is on his own as his children have gone back to their regular activities and I am sure he has some difficult days ahead.
My accountant and Wayne are working on the numbered companies for me and Cindy and Paul came over today to help me prints out some forms to be signed and scanned back to Phil. I need help with my technology and appreciate their help in so many ways.
I worked to clean on Monday and to prepare exotic chicken salad. I attended a Temple session on Tuesday morning and then had Theresa, Colleen and Wayne over for lunch afterward as they work that shift. It was nice to have them and I hope they had a good time. They seemed to enjoy the food and our home.
It has been very hot and I am trying to keep my new plants and trees watered. Cindy, Sam and Paul helped me put a soaker hose under our cedars in the back. My neighbor Marie is away and I have been trying to do some watering for her too.
I have been considering getting a dog and did not think I should make that decision yet but a red, female, miniature, poodle, puppy has popped up for sale on Kijiji and Cindy has arranged for us to go see her tomorrow. We will have to see what comes of this.
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